What do I want from my life? That's a difficult question and I don't have a good answer for it. I thought I had an answer, but I don't. Right now I find myself facing a crossroads, a point where I choose the easier or more difficult road. But it isn't as simple as that. I could change over to a more difficult path later, even merge from this split at a later time. The difference is how do I view myself, am I a wage worker or am I a career man? I can stay in an essentially blue collar job that doesn't stress me too much, has pretty good hours and good pay, excellent when compared to the demands placed on me. Alternatively, I can leave the easier job for a more difficult and stressful job. Sounds simple. Don't make yourself miserable. However, that ignores the higher pay potential in the more stressful position. Also, it is a supervisor position, which opens many doors down the road for other supervisory jobs and potential advancement in this or another organization. The key question would then be, what do i want my long term career to be? Do I want to stay in the field I am in or do I want to follow the wife into law or do I want to do something completely different? That is a question it seems I won't be getting a good chance to reflect on and research. I owe it to myself to take the time though.

But the consideration gets more complicated. Right now, for the next two years, at least, I need as much money on hand as possible. This will allow me to fund the wife and her expenses and minimize the debt we have to pay down. But, just how much is that worth. The less debt we have left when I go back to school, the better, obviously, but how much is it worth the discharge the hypothetical debt? What is my valuation of my free time and lower stress? Is it sufficient to overcome the value of a larger income? Is the new job that much worse than the current job? What will the actual offer be? Can I decide on these numbers reasonably quickly without biasing them too much?

I have a list of things I want to accomplish over the next 18 months. Review of the list suggests the following:

1. Unaffected by either job, as top priority
2. Unaffected by either job
3. Depends on offer amount and all relevant data, could go either way, probably leans to supervisor
4. Hindered by supervisor, have less time/energy to pursue
5. N/A, as pertains to process of making this decision
6. Hindered by supervisor, less time/energy to pursue
7. Hindered by supervisor
8. Hindered by supervisor
9. Hindered by supervisor
10. Hindered by supervisor
11. Hindered by supervisor
12. Hindered by supervisor
13. Hindered by supervisor
14. Hindered by supervisor

This all leans on the assumption that the supervisor job will consume more time and energy than the tech job, a valid assumption. Also that time at work I could have been slacking and pursuing other goals will be consumed by work related tasks. This would suggest I need to establish how much each of these goals is worth to me and add it all up. There is also going to be some quality of life adjustment needed. At the very least, though, it suggests a direction to follow in making the decision.

First!

This blog serves as a repository for the things I want to jot down or flesh out during the course of the day so that I can find them later. This is part of an effort to better organize my thinking, figure out where I want to go with my life in the next 5-10 years, and hopefully build some good habits that can foster more creative thinking. I do not really mean for this to be read by anyone, but I also have chosen a format that can be viewed by anyone, but probably won't be. I'm not sure what that implies about me. I don't have much to write right now, I just wanted to get the thing started and formatted and available to use. Maybe I'll follow through, maybe I won't, but there will be a definite record of it either way.