Sometimes I feel like a failure. I don't think I actually am, but I feel like I should be better than I am, but I keep disappointing myself. I don't actually work harder in an attempt to improve myself. I guess that means I'm really just a lazy, self-loathing person. I need to change how I approach things in my life. This sort of change is difficult because it requires constant attention to what I am doing and how I am behaving. It is hard, but I need to do it. It will take time, so I need to be patient. I will fail, but I need to keep working. I can succeed, but only if I actually put in the time and effort to do so. I can be a success, but first I have to teach myself to be successful.
To that end, I need to do several key things.
1. Create a professional identity
2. Learn how to jump in and out of this identity
3. Learn short, STAR formatted stories about myself that reflect desirable aspects of my professional identity
4. Figure out what I actually want from my career
5. Build an actual linked in profile, not the garbage I currently have
6. Build some more skills that employers find desirable, like programming, excel, etc
7. Gym routine discipline
8. Dietary discipline, part of being professional is looking the part, which means eating the part
9. Actively seek out advice from people who are better at soft skills than I am and write down their advice so I can learn from it and try to incorporate how they do things and think about things
There is more that I need to do, but I can add to/modify this list as time goes on. The key is to start working on this immediately. I'll figure out what I want as time goes on, but if I do not equip myself with the tools to take what I want, then I will continue to fall short of my own expectations, I will continue to feel like a failure.